The Birth of A Fucknigga

"Why you bother me when you know you don't want me?" -SZA

Insecure got ya girl MESSED up. I am in pieces and to be quite honest, I might be taking things harder than Issa (yes, I have always been this dramatic). Still, I'm sure I'm not alone on this front. Throughout the first season, while we watched characters like Molly, Issa, and Lawrence undergo significant changes to their lives, Issa and Lawrence's relationship remained a constant - and although it wasn't the strongest of relationships, viewers could always count on it to be there.

This was all before Lawrence decided to be a live-on-the-couch nigga and before Issa decided to fuck around - but we'll unpack that in just a lil bit!

After the abrupt end of Issa and Lawrence's relationship (end of season 1 and into season 2), shit got all fucked up. Molly is in therapy and struggling to get recognized in (white) corporate America, Daniel is seems to have dipped off the face of the planet and Issa and Lawrence's mutual friends all seem to be tip-toeing around the messiness of their breakup. As for Issa - yeah, homegirl is a mess and to be quite honest, I don't even want to get into it. However, Lawrence seems to be undergoing a significant character evolution. Radical change is brewing inside Lawrence and that coupled with a new, noteworthy job, and heartbreak, has made way for the birth of Sir Lawrence the Fucknigga.

Now, if you are #TeamLawrence, I get it. Issa sucks for cheating on him. I am, by no means, excusing her actions, because to be quite honest there is no excuse justifiable enough. Essentially, Issa made a decision. She was fortified in her choice by her desire to "scratch" her itch for Daniel. Issa is a whole damn adult and she played a major role in the demise of their relationship. Still, my momma taught me that it takes two to tango. So, when we acknowledge Issa's role in the end of their relationship, we have inadvertently opened ourselves to analyzing Lawrence's role in the demise of their relationship, too.

Much like all couples experience after moving in together, financial responsibility changes when you and your partner mutually decide to inhabit the same space as each other. With Issa and Lawrence, we see the way in which the dynamics of their relationship are threatened due to an increased burden of  their household's total finances on one partner - in this case, Issa. While Lawrence chose to quit working in order to pursue his desire to invent an application, Issa had to bear more of their total finances. In addition to this, (and this is the part that I think had the greatest influence on their relationship) tension, from a lack of intimacy (physical and emotional) and overall effort, caused a riff in communication and created  the resentment that Issa felt for Lawrence. Their relationship was changing significantly. Pressure was building on both ends and, in the end, they exploded.

Now, what exactly is a fucknigga, you ask? Great question! A fucknigga (fuckboy for my non-Black tribe), a term coined in the early 2000's, has evolved significantly in meaning. Today, the term is used to describe an unfaithful man. In order to ensure that everyone is on the same level of understanding, I'll provide a lil sum sum from our ever-so-informative friends at Urban Dictionary.

 In the off chance that you still aren't firmly grasping the concept of a fucknigga(boy), below are some characteristics of these devils. 

WARNING: If a handsome, usually young, man approaches you talking some slick shit (ie. lemme nibble on ya ear lil mama), R-U-N. You have just encountered your first, but definitely not last, fucknigga(boy).

Characteristics of a Fucknigga:

1. Emotionally intelligent, except when it pertains to his own emotions.

2. Liar. Don't bother with getting him to admit it.

3. Usually unnecessarily attractive.

4. Manipulative.

5. Unattached. Always.

In summation, Lawrence, the stay-on-the-couch nigga, died. In his place, Lawrence, the fuck nigga, was born.

3. Unnecessary Attractiveness:

Let's all take a moment to reminisce about Lawrence the stay-on-the-couch nigga. He was lacking in many departments, however, he was pretty humble. He kept his hair short, in some type of low fade meets baby fro cut (no waves in sight). Fast forward to season 2 Lawrence, and we have a brand new man. A man with renewed self-confidence and a bit of swag. Season 2 Lawrence is rocking a high-low fade with the sponge curls (peep that switch up). In addition to this, homeboy started hitting the weights. In episode 3, we see Lawrence doing chin ups in his fine new haircut. Overall, I'd say Lawrence is looking quite snackable. 

1 + 4. Emotional Intelligence and Manipulation: 

Now, I will give Lawrence credit in this department. While many doubted his abilities to level up his emotional intelligence and manipulation skills. However, by the end of season 1 and the beginning of season 2, we see Lawrence feeling up on strippers, breaking backs, and stringing along his side piece who wants to be his girlfriend, Tasha. Now, while I want to dive into a full discussion about how Lawrence is doing Tasha SO, dirty, I won't. However, I will recommend this link to an article that goes right into it. We see Lawrence utilizing his new found skills to take advantage of Tasha, which he also utilizes them to take advantage of Issa's confusion. This is especially clear in season 2, episode 2 when Lawrence has an unexpectedly quick quickie, with Issa, after a trip to their apartment to pick up his jury summons (he was summoned all right). Still, Lawrence is emotionally unstable and while he struggles to accept the way his relationship with Issa ended, women like Tasha and Issa get tangled up in his hurricane of feelings and become collateral damage.

5. Unattached: Let's just keep this part simple. Lawrence smashed and dashed on Tasha. He was the weekend sleepover, the Friday through Sunday cuddle buddy and he sure wasn't going to mess up their rotation with a weeknight stay at Tasha's place.

Often times, when we come across damaged men, our initial evaluation of him revolves around this idea that, somewhere along the line, a woman caused him to be this way. Somehow, we have warped idea of blame and taken on this Adam and Eve lens when trying to understand the root causes of the birth of a fucknigga. When we do this, we say that a man is unable to be held accountable for his actions; we say that men are not able to reclaim their broken hearts and make themselves whole again. We excuse their poor choices and their shitty behavior and instead point fingers at someone who played a relatively small role in such a large alteration to this man's behavior and perspective on future relationships. To be honest with y'all, I'm over it. I'm over the fucknigga and I'm over this idea that somehow women are supposed to be both the reason for his birth and the tools that he uses to become a decent person.

So, you're reading this and starting to draw eerily accurate lines of connection between Lawrence and yourself. It's okay. Now you know. However, it's up to you to fix that nonsense. It is not up to the Issa's and Tasha's of the world to be your emotional and/or sexual punching bags. We will no longer sit there while you pummel us with one disappointing text and missed date after the other. Enough of that fucknigga shit.


*Disclaimer: God's good grace brought this blog to life.

#Insecure #fucknigga #SZA #Issa #Tasha