It's 2018... Let That Man Go.

January 23, 2018

 

"And I'm quick to cut a nigga off, so don't get comfortable." -Cardi B

 

As we approach the end of our first month of 2018, I hope that you are all keeping up with your goals for the New Year. Personally, I've found that as the end of the month gets closer, I've gained a renewed sense of determination to continue to hold myself accountable for the intentions that I've set for 2018.

 

One thing that I've been thinking a lot about, from the beginning of the month until now, is healthy relationships. I've been thinking a lot about what healthy relationships look like, what unhealthy relationships look like, about the importance of choosing a supportive partner and about the implications of committing yourself to an unhealthy relationship with an unsupportive partner. While relationships are never as simple as healthy versus unhealthy, and supportive versus unsupportive, based on the kind of relationship that you and your partner have, you should be able to determine whether or not your partner is lifting you up, and assisting you while you maximize our potential, and when they're dragging you down far past the depths of hell. 

 

Yes, that was a bit dramatic, but it's not unheard of! 

 

As I've gotten older, I've shared more and more about the intimacies of my dating life and of my relationships with my mother, because she knows what's up. My mother has seen it all and she is who I turn to when I want to be sure of whether or not my relationships are whole and smooth, rather then haphazard and rough. While my mom doesn't always approve of the people that I choose to spend my time with, she isn't there to direct me on who to be with. Instead, she is there to guide me on finding my "normal," within that relationship and making sure that this is is consistent. If it's not, it's likely that I shouldn't be with that person. Moreover, my mom is there to guide me on figuring it out if my "normal," within that relationship is healthy or unhealthy. Often people in abusive relationships are in situations where their perceptions of  "normal," are truly all the way messed up. Hence, why many people in abusive relationships stay with their partners.

 

I say all of this to lay the foundation for the recent relationship mayhem that is Cardi B, a.k.a. Bardi B, a.k.a. Bartier Cardi, the Bronx native rapper who claimed all of 2017 and Offset, one-third of the rap group called, Migos. Cardi B and Offset were rumored to have been dating after their collaboration on Cardi's single,"Lick." Just a few months after their relationship was confirmed, Cardi and Offset called their relationship quits. At the time, there were a variety of speculations as to why their relationship ended so abruptly. Ultimately, one rumor, which detailed Offset's extracurricular relationship activities with another woman, gained traction. Still, despite accusations of cheating and a breakup, Cardi B was ecstatic when Offset proposed during her Power 99 Philadelphia Concert in October.The cheating rumor was only recently confirmed at the end of December and into the the New Year, after a video of the other woman, walking around a hotel room naked, surfaced after Offset's phone was hacked. In addition to this video, naked videos and pictures of Cards B, were also leaked.

 

 

Recently, Offset landed into trouble again following his verse in  in YFN Lucci's song, "Boss Life." In the song, Offset stated, "I cannot vibe with queers." If you've already begun rolling yours eyes, you are right on track. Let them eyes roll. Once the World Wide Web realized what Offset said, they dragged the shit out of him - and rightfully so. Offset's defense? The rapper stated that he meant to utilize the literal definition of the word queer, which means strange or abnormal, and not the connotative and LGBTQIA+ reclaimed definition of the word, which refers to the gay community. Despite Offset's claims, the World Wide Web continued to drag Offset, calling him homophobic. Following these accusations of being homophobic, Cardi B took to social media to defend her Offset's lack of knowledge of the history of the word. Cardi suggested that the LGBTQ community use Offset's mistake as an opportunity to educate people on the correct terminology to use, instead of completely writing them off as homophobic. The video that she recorded defending Offset has since appeared on major social media outlets such as, The Shade Room, Twitter, and Facebook.

 

So here's the thing: I like Cardi B - but it's 2018 and she needs to let that man go. While Cardi has had her own self-inflicted, bad publicity, recently it seems as if the majority of the bad attention that she is receiving stems from her relationship with Offset. With regards to the cheating accusations, I can understand that some people are able to move on and look past their partner's infidelities, however considering the short amount of time that Offset and Cardi have been together, I question whether or not Cardi utilized a sufficient amount of time to fully refortify her relationship with Offset, in order to move past his cheating. What tourbles me more is that even after the pair made up, Offset seemed to be holding on to remnants and memories of his mistress, which caused, yet another, internet fury over the couple's mishaps. While Cardi claims that her nude pictures and videos, which were also leaked from Offset's phone, aren't a big deal because of her former career as an exotic dancer, the whole debacle was just messy. As usual, Cardi was on the back end of it looking like she was being played for an idiot when she's an artist and a business woman. Then, when things finally seemed to simmer down, Cardi was called out for the Instagram Live video that she posted of her lying down with Offset made sexual gestures while standing behind her. The video was all in good fun, but it was posted a few days after the leaked videos of Offset's other woman. In all, it was just a terrible public relations move. Now, as Cardi prepares for another round of Offset-inflicted damage control, I begin to wonder whether her brand, her image, and her name will hold up in these times, where everything is assessed at face value and people are unforgivingly critical of artists, actors, and other major public figures. Mishaps are no longer just mishaps, and Cardi's attempt to categorize Offset's offensive and dragatory usage of the word "queer," is not going to be tolerated.

 

I want to see Cardi B grow, because her story and her hard work allowed her to overcome a series of challenges that many of her fans can relate to. Cardi B is a hustler in every sense of the word and should be acknowledged for her ability to grow, despite her circumstances. Still, her accomplishments are frequently overshadowed by her fiancé (and her inability to hold her tongue). Her suggestion that the LGBTQ community educate her husband is unacceptable and also causes me to question the extent of her knowledge of LGBTQ issues, especially since so many of her fans are apart of the LGBTQ community. 

 

Love is blind and Cardi is going to need some guidance to get through this one.

*Disclaimer: God's good grace brought this blog to life.

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