"I'm bi-curious!" -Every broad with hetvantages
So I was talking to my mom the other day (heyyyyy mommy! <3333) about life and my post graduate plans (yuck). She was telling me how she was proud of me for always thinking ahead. She continued to say that this was a necessary skill for me to have, because to be Black and a woman in America is to be at a disadvantage. She is right. This is an undeniable fact. Still, it is also undeniable that because I am a heterosexual, cisgender woman, I have been awarded some privileges that non-cis and non-hetero people aren't afforded.
First, I want to make sure that we're all on the same playing field of understanding. I don't want to use terms that we all don't have a clear grasp of.
1. What does it mean to be heterosexual?
a. This is the perfect starting point. Heterosexuality, as defined by Merriam Webster's kid-friendly dictionary is "of, relating to, or marked by sexual interest in members of the opposite sex." *Sidenote: Y'all, sexuality is actually so complicated. But for the sake of getting to the actual story, I think this kid friendly definition is both accurate and straightforward *insert laugh here* (it's a pun... I said STRAIGHTforward while talking about heterosexuality).
Still, it's important to understand that heterosexuality also has spectrums.
Hetero Privileges include:
1. Basic social acceptance(especially from homophobic people): kissing and holding hands in public without fear or shame, being able to talk about your partner without fear of a negative reaction, etc.
2. Raising a family without your parental abilities being questioned because of your sexuality.
3. Traveling without fear of being mistreated because of your sexual orientation.
4. Marriage (up until about a year ago).
5. Not having to worry about your shortcomings (at work, school, etc.) being tied to your sexuality.
2. What does it mean to be cisgender?
a. Unfortunately, Merriam-Webster's kid-friendly dictionary isn't as progressive as I'd hoped. So I'll be using their regular dictionary version for this definition. To be cisgender is defined as "of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth."
For example: At birth, I was deemed to be female in sex and I now, as a young adult, my gender corresponds with this by aligning to the societal behaviors expected of the female sex.
Cis Privileges include:
1. Using the bathroom without being attacked.
2. Using the bathroom without being questioned if you belong in said bathroom.
3. Not being asked what sex you were assigned at birth.
4. Not being questioned about your genitals while drinking your morning coffee.
5. Walking down the street without the fear of being killed. (Ya know, basic stuff.)
I know that was a lot to read, but "ohana" means family and I had to make sure that y'all didn't get left behind fam. (If you didn't get that joke, first, ya childhood was wack. Second, watch this clip.)
So I've been thinking about why I started this blog and about whose story I aim to share with the world. I realized that all of you have so many experiences that other people should have the opportunity to listen to and learn from. So here I am sharing the story of another young woman navigating sexuality.
This young woman is fearless for sharing her truth with the world (whether she desired to remain anonymous or not). I hope I am able to do her story justice. I hope I am able to share her truth. I hope I am able to give her some closure.
Sit tight for Hetvantages Pt. 2 in just a few hours. Y'all ain't ready. *slurps tea*
*Disclaimer: God's good grace brought this blog to life.